Want to Know a Secret?

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of bullying, disordered eating, sexual content, cursing, illness, graphic violence, death, emotional abuse, and physical abuse.

“When I first started doing this, I recorded myself eating treats multiple times, trying to figure out the right formula for not looking like a slob while I stuffed confections in my mouth. ‘Mmm. So good!’ Truth be told, I overbaked them by about five minutes. They taste a bit dry. But nobody watching will know it.”

April’s YouTube videos introduce the theme of Public Appearance Versus Private Persona. Here, she delineates two versions of the events: the one where she pretends to enjoy her baked goods for her audience, and the reality that they taste “dry.” This emphasizes the fact that her videos are a version of reality that she projects to others, rather than the truth.

“My career is teaching people to put together the most delicious treats, but I’m not allowed to touch them aside from that one bite on screen. I have to look good for the camera.”

These words emphasize the duality within April’s character. This is an example of irony. She has created a career out of baking—yet doesn’t even allow herself to eat the things that she bakes.

“My heart is doing jumping jacks in my chest, but Elliot still doesn’t seem overly concerned. How does he do that? Is he really not worried or is he just so much better at faking it. He is a lawyer, after all. He’s good at faking it.”

These thoughts from April emphasize the trouble that she is having in her relationship, even if she is not willing to admit it to herself. The quote uses personification to attribute human-like qualities to her heart—the ability to do jumping jacks—to emphasize her stress. She acknowledges that Elliot is not concerned by the fact that their son is missing, emphasizing how little he cares about his child. However, instead of addressing the fact, she simply dismisses it.